It's that time again, folks! Just sharing my gratitude with extreme attitude. Won't you join the fun? Head on over to
Think Tank Momma's to read all about it. And now, without further ado ...
Dear
Piece-of-Shit Minivan:
Thanks so much for turning that 'Service Engine Soon' light in the dashboard on. The repeated flashing was a nice touch, kinda reminded me of a warning light over at Nuclear 1 right before the core melts down. But don't you think it was a little overdramatic? I know I've been daydreaming about
replacing upgrading you and all, but it's just daydreaming, nothing to worry about, honest. That is, unless you can't keep your
sorry high-maintenence chASSis out of the shop. But if you can manage to stay out of the shop except for regular maintenence, I promise to drive you until your wheels fall off.
Sincerely,
Dame Can't-Afford-High-Cost-Repairs-But-Can't-Afford-To-Buy-New-Either
Dear
Motherfucking Bastards Dealership Service Writers and Mechanics:
Thank you for being so thorough whenever I bring my
piece-of-shit minivan into the shop - it's a rare thing these days to find people so dedicated to doing good work that they take a fine-toothed comb and a microscope over my vehicle in search of any and all mechanical problems. I can't tell you how happy that makes me, how many warm fuzzies it gives me to know you have my safety and best interests at heart. Really. I mean, you people are so dedicated that when I'm not sure whether to okay $2K-worth of work on my van, you go out of your way to paint a vivid picture for me about the dangers of foregoing all of the recommended work. You can't put a price on safety, now can you? Besides, who needs to eat every day anyway? We all know I could stand to lose a few ell bees and you're looking out for me so well that you're even helping me do that. Wow. What else is there to say?
Sincerely,
Dame Ingrate
7 comments:
There are people in this world that are definitely Satan's minions and I would say that my last car mecanic is one of them. Convinced me that I needed a new alternator, installed one at an ungodly rate, and then . . . 3 months later it broke again. I found out that he had replaced my first alternator with a used part instead of new. Of course, he charged me for a new one. Needless to say, once I brought this to his attention, and threatened to take action, miraculously I was awarded with a new alternator and labor free of charge.
Full coverage insurance?
Big hill? Deep water?.....just an idea....
Mechanics are pretty much all crooked. I always remember the scene from the movie The Mask, with Jim Carrey. Best part is when he goes in and shoves that exhaust pipe supremely up that mechanics chocolate whiz way! LOVE IT! I want to be a crazed cartoon character by night. That would ROCK!
That's the worst - when they leave you with a huge, long list of things 'suggested' you fix on your car - or possible death.
My father is a mechanic, so I know they aren't all crooks - but you bet I call him for advice before I make any mechanical decisions.
I hate taking my car to the shop... I have total fear of being ripped off.
If it's a Toyota you could just floor it, run it into a brick wall and hope the investigators say the accelerator stuck.
I hear people are doing that with their death trap Priuses.
I want to be a crazed cartoon character by night.
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