Dear Corporate Asswipes Employer:
It's me again, your hard(ly)-working New-ish Employee. Just a quick note to express my thanks for the new mandatory 1-hour lunch break. I really like having the additional challenge of making up discretionary time before or after work or on weekends now that you've taken my lunch break away as a viable option. My life was definitely not challenging enough. No sirree. And the fact that you've rigged it so that the system will automatically log me as taking a 1-hour lunch even if I clock out for only thirty minutes is, quite frankly, fucking ridiculous a stroke of genius. I mean, I could get fired for falsifying a timecard, but you can't fire the system for doing it, especially not when you set the system up, now can you? Furthermore, I wholeheartedly applaud you for simplifying the mathematics involved in calculating timecards by mandating and automating 1-hour lunches - God knows the folks in HR have enough to do with sending out endless, poorly written, atrociously spelled and never proofread emails regarding policy changes like the new 1-hour lunch policy.
Sincerely
Your Not-Looking-For-A-Gold-Watch-At-Retirement Employee
P.S. Just so you know, I will particularly enjoy this new 1-hour lunch rule when we're on deadline and you're begging me to keep working through my lunch break in order to git-r-done. Ever conscientious, I will respectfully remind you of your rule before I clock out for 1 hour and leave you high and dry.
Karma's a bitch. Just sayin'.
10 comments:
Ouch! Isn't that illegal? I'm pretty sure it's illegal.....
You should check into that!
Asshat employers! But, at least you are in fact employed! :D
No, I doubt it's illegal to make sure your employees are getting a full hour for a lunch break ... My stance is, if they're getting their full 8 hours out of me, I don't see where they get to complain if I choose to take a much shorter lunch ... whatev.
Oh, I'm glad to be employed - otherwise I wouldn't have such rich blog fodder.
Hey there, I'm visiting from Think Tank Mama's Meme... most serious kick ass letter you have here. I actually look forward to the day they need you to work over lunch hour too and you ever so respectfully "decline" due to "policy".
I HATE the mandatory 1-hour lunch. I'm a work through lunch and go home early type of gal.
Ugh! Wonder what doucher thought up that new policy. Probably someone who wanted to cover his ass for his repeated 1 hour lunch dibbles in his secretary....
It might be time to take a nap mat to the office.
Sadly this isn't illegal.
It just sucks big time.
i had a boss once who knew that on Friday's the last flight out was at 2;30pm for me to have a weekend. (I worked for a software company owned by an airline and could fly free) I asked him about taking that friday 2:30p flight so that I could go to Tampa for the weekend. He said, "Is your work done?" I said Yes. He laughed and then said, "what the hell do I care. go have fun. As long as you have everything done that you need done I'm fine with it and you never have to ask me. I hired you as an adult so I will treat you like one until you show me otherwise." I loved that man! Sadly he was promoted and I got a shit for brains boss next!
Seems like there's always a shit for brains boss out there somewhere!
I have always thought that a one hour lunch was unnecessary. No one needs that amount of time, and cutting it down would allow the employees to go home that much earlier. I just don't get it.
I actually look forward to the day they need you to work over lunch hour too and you ever so respectfully "decline" due to "policy".
Work From Home
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