Guest Post: Cosmo, Most Magnificent of All Cats

Greetings inferior human readers of Blog. It is I, Cosmo, most magnificent of all Cats. I have taken time from busy day (eating, sleeping, pooping, eating, sleeping, eating, sleeping) to hijack blog introduce my most magnificent self. Dame N. says I am merely domestic shorthair, but what know she? I am descending from greatest of all Cats, the Russian Blue. My Father risk life and paw to meet my Mother, but that is story for the telling another day. It is honor for her to be serving me, and she will be knowing my displeasure at her inglorious description when I, how you say? barfing on her shoes. Yes, that is it. I will barfing on her shoes to showing displeasure. It is what I do. I am Cat.

So, why is Cat writing blog, you are asking? Dame N. no write, Dame too busy mumbling about Mister hunting the job, but I no listen. Hunting is for proletariat, and I am indoor Cat, I no hunt. That's what human is for, da? Da. Also, Dame doing the battle with vicious invader, name of Paul Len. I no see him yet, but I plan to barfing on his shoes when I do. That Paul Len make Dame head for to aching, nose for to running, eyes for to itching and sinuses for to clogging - but I confuse on last one. Clogging is form of dancing, not good for Cats because tails for to getting step-ped on. But no matter. That Paul Len, he on barf list, number one spot, da!

Dame N. also do something called the monitor of batch. Was fun for Cosmo because Dame no sleep regular time, Dame stay up late keeping Cat hours, but Dame very tired, very cranky after. Cosmo think Dame need beauty sleep so Dame is for to being as magnificent as Cosmo. But what I say? That is not for to being possible - Dame lowly human, Dame no Cat. Please for to excusing me, Cosmo feeling hairball coming. Must for to barfing now.